Marriage is harder than it looks in the movies
You can find yourself trapped in the same ritual arguments
The constant negotiation of shared decisions
Based on individual tastes and values

Decorating the house
Disciplining the children
Even where to go for dinner
So many decisions
So many compromises

Relationships don’t turn sour all at once
There is a multitude of mini crossroads
Where resentment leads to withholding
And an adversarial relationship perpetuates

It takes great effort to resist resentment
And act like an ally
To do the thing you know you should do
But really don’t want to

What you see is based on who you are
But your partner does not act
By your rules

Communication is a chasm
Between what you meant
What you said
And what they thought they heard

I recommend the platinum rule:
Do unto others as they would have you do unto them
To understand each other, you must transcend your own associations, interpretations, and reference points
And begin to see theirs

This is where a therapist can help

Areas of Expertise:

• Finding the loyalty, the love, the positivity, and when all else fails, the sense of humor to continue living with each other
• Shining a light on the invisible strings
• Loosening the hold of family scripts
• Discovering new ways to talk to each other
• Holding each other accountable
• Naming and overcoming the common discourtesies we reserve for our families
• Fostering the flexibility necessary for negotiation
• Exploring intention and misinterpretation
• Contextualizing anger
• Acting as an interpreter