Compromise is when everyone walks away equally unhappy. Walk in ready to give a little instead of walking in with a list of demands and sticking points.
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Practice active listening. Pay special attention to hear the other person’s point. Try to avoid just waiting for your turn to talk.
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Say what you mean and mean what you say. Try to make specific points about what is bothering you that refer to how you feel, not what he did.
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Try to repeat the other person’s points back to her. This will get you off your soapbox and will tell her that she has been heard. You can also verify if you actually got it right. People tend to mishear a lot.
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Validate, empathize, repeat, and then tell him your point or how you saw things. Until he knows that he has been heard, he will not be open to listening. You must first communicate that you get his side if you really want him to hear yours.
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Try to avoid mind reading and jumping to assumptions about what the other person is thinking, what she meant, etc. Ask for clarifications before you make assumptions.
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When you make a request, ‘no’ is a valid answer. If it is not a request, but a genuine need, make sure you communicate that. If you can’t afford to hear a ‘no,’ let you teen know that this is more than a request, and offer her some information as to why the situation is so urgent. That way the statement becomes more about the circumstances than about you asking.
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